


A Prayer to the Man He Loves

by theArcane



Series: Destiel AUs/Oneshots [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Boys Kissing, Canon Era, Castiel Confesses Feelings for Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Comfort, Confrontations, Dean Winchester Confesses Feelings for Castiel, Dean Winchester In Love, Dean Winchester Prays to Castiel, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", First Kiss, Hunter Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Minor Dean/Lee - Freeform, POV Alternating, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, POV Third Person, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Pining Dean Winchester, Post-Season/Series 13, Somewhere after Jack is born
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theArcane/pseuds/theArcane
Summary: "A vision of dark hair and blue eyes. A prayer to the man he loves. Pleasure on his mind. A rythm on his hands. A twist and a shout and then he lets go with a single name on his lips. 'Cas.' "Whenever Dean jerks himself off, he thinks of Cas. But he's too shy to confess his feelings in front of the angel. What he doesn't know is that Cas can hear his every thought and knows exactly what's going on. One day, Cas finally decides to confront Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel AUs/Oneshots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071791
Comments: 11
Kudos: 131





	A Prayer to the Man He Loves

_A vision of dark hair and blue eyes. A prayer to the man he loves. Pleasure on his mind. A rhythm on his hands. A twist and a shout and then he lets go with a single name on his lips. "Cas."_

Dean grunted and started cleaning himself up. He looked at the unopened porno magazines lying on the basin. He couldn't remember the last time he had used them. He didn't need to anymore. Anytime he wanted to masturbate, he could just picture his best friend with his deep blue eyes and sex tousled hair and it became his undoing. 

Dean had never thought that he would ever think about _guys_ like this. But there was something about Cas, something that had made Dean think about everything he has ever repressed. He had always hidden away his attraction to men so strongly that he was able to hide it from himself. But ever since Cas had stepped in his life, Dean's feelings had started coming to surface. Not just Cas, it was a string of men after him. Benny, Lee, _both dead_. But how had Dean loved them. And how they had loved him back. 

If only Cas was able to give him what Benny and Lee had given him. But that wasn't possible, was it? _An angel, falling in love with a worthless human like Dean?_ It made him laugh even thinking about it. 

  
He should just satisfy himself with his hand and his mind.

  
*******

_Cas! Cas! Cas!_

Cas covered his ears to block out the sound, but it obviously wouldn't work. Dean was in his head, chanting his name. _Again_. 

The first time it had happened, the angel had rushed himself over to the hunter, to see what's wrong. _Why was Dean calling out his name like that?_ He sounded out of breath, flushed. When Cas flew into his room, he saw that Dean was sitting on his bed, his back against him, his body moving in a constant rhythm. There was an air of arousal around him. Cas froze. He suddenly understood what Dean was doing. He felt embarrassed. He had definitely misheard the hunter and was now spying on his most private moments. 

But as much as Cas wanted to go, he couldn't. He could only see Dean's back, yet there was something so intimate about watching Dean in his most vulnerable moments. He wondered if he should go invisible and take a look at Dean's face. Only his _face_ , nothing else. 

_No, that would be wrong._ Dean trusts him. He cannot break that. Cas ruffled his feathers to fly out, but at the last second, he heard it again. " _Cas_." Cas flew away. 

It was a weekly occurrence now. Sometimes even daily. It never made it easier to ignore it though. Because as Dean moved, Cas moved. As Dean kept praying to him, he kept praying to Dean. Their rhythms were so synchronized but Dean didn't even know. 

Cas had wanted to go to him, multiple times, but everytime he made up his mind to appear in front of Dean while he was calling out his name, he also sensed Dean's loathing. He could feel the hatred oozing out of him. The hatred of his attraction to Cas. Whether he blamed Cas or himself it, the angel didn't know. He didn't want to find out. 

He would just synchronize himself with Dean. Let their hands beat together, even if their hearts can't. 

  
*******

He should say something to Cas, shouldn't he? _Hey buddy, I may have started falling for you. Listen man, I know this is out of nowhere, but I wanna kiss you. I wanna hold your hand and cuddle with you._

No, none of these would work. He sounded like a teenager. Besides, knowing Cas, the angel would just panic and run away. Or say something really awkward in order to gently let Dean down, while making everything else worse.

Dean remembered their hunt. Cas had taken off his trenchcoat. His top button was undone. His tie was askew. He had killed at least ten demons with just his hands. Dean had kept staring and staring. He hoped no one noticed. 

And he also had a problem, which he needed to solve very soon. He had dashed into the bunker leaving Sammy and Jack to park the Baby. Cas had already taken off to God knows where. He ran to the bathroom. 

  
*******

  
Cas couldn't take it anymore. The way Dean had been staring at him. It made him _angry_. Dean sending all these mixed signals - Cas wished he would just come clean for once. 

_"Cas."_

Cas closed his eyes. He would ignore it. Turn off his angel radio in times like these. He didn't need Dean's emotions merging into his. 

_"Cas."_

_That mother-_ Patience. _Shut it out._ But what if Dean is really in trouble someday? And Cas won't reach him because he had shut Dean out? Sam would call him. He can still hear Sam's prayers. And they have Jack with them too, now. 

"Cas!" 

This one was the loudest and the most passionate one yet. Cas knew every aspect of Dean. This was him finally letting go. This was his voice riding high in his orgasm. 

He couldn't take it anymore. He _will_ shut it out once and for all. 

  
*******

  
Dean zipped up his pants after cleaning himself. He was glad didn't last long today. He had so much work to do. He owed Sammy an explanation as to why he had run off like that. He had yet to wash the blood of the hunt off him. 

The hunter splashed water on his face. He opened his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror, and gasped. 

He was used to it. He had seen it many times before. But this time, it was different. This time, he felt guilty. 

"Hello Dean." The monotonous voice said. 

"Cas! I could've been naked in here." Dean exclaimed, turning around to face the angel. There wasn't much distance between them. But this time, Dean didn't want to remind him of personal space. 

"You're clearly not." Cas said, looking him up and down. 

"Great observation." Dean said sarcastically. He had no idea what Cas was doing here. 

"What were you up to?" Cas asked, his blue eyes boring into Dean's. 

_Jerking off to you._ "Washing." Dean muttered. He felt nervous. 

"Hm. What about before that?" 

"Hunting? With you? I thought angels were supposed to have a great memory or something." 

"After you came back from hunting, Dean?" 

"Do you need an account of everything I do? You need to know everytime I take a piss?" Dean said, trying to move past Cas. 

Cas blocked him. "That's not what you were doing though, were you?" 

Dean looked at him square in the eyes. "It's none of your business what I do." He moved past Cas, shoving him slightly with his shoulder. Before he could take a step further, Cas grabbed his wrist to bring him back to where he was standing. 

"It _is_ my business," Cas growled in a low voice. "When you keep using my name for your own carnal sins." 

Dean froze. _How did he know? Was he too loud? Did Sammy snitched?_ No, his little brother wouldn't do that. _Did Jack?_

"I don't know what you're talking about, man." Dean said, unable to look into the piercing blue gaze. 

"I think you know perfectly well what I am talking about." 

Dean gave an exasperated sigh. "I was saying _Cassie_ , my ex girlfriend's name. Not _Cas_. Whoever snitched, did a piss poor job of it." 

Cas raised an eyebrow. "I am pretty sure I can hear you praying to _me_ , not _Cassie_." 

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Since how long has the angel been hearing him? Was this the first time or.._

"It was a one time thing." Dean tried. 

Cas' grip on his wrist tightened. "No it wasn't." 

Dean closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again. "No it wasn't." 

"Why, Dean?" 

Dean had pictured this moment a thousand times in his head. How he would confess his feelings to Cas. He had thought about a hundred different lines to say to him, some poetic, some trashy. But right now, he couldn't remember any of them. 

"Dean!" Cas urged him. "Tell me why." 

Dean fumbled. Cas was too close. His skin was on top of his. He wasn't ready to answer yet. "If you heard all my prayers, why didn't you answer them?" 

Cas gave him a sad look. _Was there pity in his eyes?_ "I sensed the anger mixed with your pleasure. You hate this part of you, don't you? This part that is attracted to me?" 

_Attracted to me.._ It was out in the open now. 

"I don't hate being _attracted_ to you Cas." 

"Then why the anger?" 

"Because I am in love with you!" Dean finally blurted out. "I am in love with you and I can't help it, all right? And I know it's not fair to you. My anger isn't fair to you. Because you will never feel the same way. I know I should make peace with this fact." He looked into his eyes, azure radiating off them. "The fact that the one thing I want, is something I know I can't have." 

They both stayed quiet for some moments, their eyes refusing to look away from each other. Dean hoped they'd stay like that forever. Because whatever little he had of Cas, would be taken away after tonight. He should take as much of Cas as he can. 

And then Cas opened his mouth, pulling him back to reality. "Who says you can't have me, Dean?" 

And then, the little distance they had between them was closed and the angel's lips were on top of the hunter's. He released his wrist and their fingers interlocked. Dean didn't know what was happening. But he gave in so easily to his best friend. 

"I love you, you idiot." Cas said after they pulled apart. 

"I didn't.." Dean stammered, still trying to grasp what had happened. "I didn't know angels felt this way." 

"Turns out, we do." Cas smiled and pulled him back into the kiss. 

Dean still wasn't able to grasp what was happening. All he could feel was Cas. Cas all over him. _Cas, Cas, Cas._ A prayer to the man he loves. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it? Please leave kudos or comments  
> if you do ^_^


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